Yesterday, I went to see Dr. P for my fluid contrast ultrasound. We had a busy weekend (more on that later), and I had been feeling pretty good, so I hadn't had much time to think about the ultrasound (thankfully).
After I was called back to the exam room, the first thing the nurse did was give me pain medication and an antibiotic. Ummmm, okay? I asked her if the procedure was painful (ya know, since they gave me pain meds), and her response was, "Oh no. It shouldn't hurt much at all." I didn't believe her.
I also had to sign a release stating that I understood that with this procedure comes a risk of infection (hence the antibiotic) and other complications that could hinder fertility. That's when I became a bit nervous!
The procedure entailed Dr. P filling my uterus and tubes with iodine, then doing an ultrasound. That way, if there were any abnormalities, growths, obstructions, etc, he would be able to see them clearly. I am happy to report that everything went fine. I did have some painful cramping afterwards, but nothing unbearable. Both my uterus and tubes look great, and though my ovaries still look like a mess, we are so THANKFUL that there were no surprises yesterday.
As a side note, Chris and I had a good laugh because Dr. P looks like a mad scientist these days. He's always looked a little crazy, but he has now let his hair grow out. Think Doc from Back to the Future, haha!"
We sat down with Dr. P after the procedure, and he recommended that we begin with injections and an IUI since we know that is what has worked for us once before. I will begin Provera this weekend, take it for 10 days, and then hopefully begin fertility meds after that. Dr. P decided to use Provera to get me cycling on his schedule instead of birth control. I'm actually really happy about that because birth control has never liked me, and I know exactly what to expect with the Provera.
Of course, I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now. I'm excited, but apprehensive. I want this to work on the first cycle, but I don't want to get my hopes up. And thinking about it failing? Well, I'm avoiding that altogether . . . too many hard emotions there.
I've been a little weepy about everything today. I just wish so bad that this wasn't the way that we have to build our family. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish I didn't have to walk this road. But, it doesn't matter how I wish things were, because that is not reality. I'm just doing my best at coping with how things are.