So today I'm having one of those days when I just can't seem to snap myself out of feeling down about things. Actually, this mood has been trying to surface for about a week now, but I keep pushing it away. Work has been slow and I think that it's giving me too much time to think and dwell on things that are out of my control. Somedays it's just so hard for me to swallow what seems like everyone around me having babies and getting pregnant. I have high school classmates, co-workers, college friends, family members, casual aquaintences, etc...all having babies or enjoying their beautiful children.
It makes me question so many things.
I think more than anything I am scared that it will never happen for me. What if I never have the family that I so desperately want and already love? What if I never get to experience being pregnant? Why does it come so easily for so many people, but not me? I'm trying so hard to be patient and to be happy with where I am today in my life....to not waste away the precious time that God is blessing me with...to remember that God is in control and that I MUST trust Him...to know that in the end things will work out exactly the way they are meant to...to remember that I am blessed so far beyond what I deserve...to know that God is an Awesome God and He is in control...
But today...today I am struggling.
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