On June 7th, in the early hours of the morning, Chris's beloved Grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep. Even though her death did not come as a surprise, it is still difficult to lose a grandparent. For Chris, she was the only Grandma he had who was part of his life, and she was his last living grandparent.
Grandma was 86 years old, and the last year of her life had been especially difficult for her. Since Grandpa passed away almost two years ago (it will be two years on July 10th), we have seen her health (both mental and physical) fail rapidly. Last August (2017), Chris's parents felt like it would be best for Grandma to move in with them so they could give her full-time care. When she first moved, she could still walk, talk, and eat well. However, as the months have passed, Grandma's ability to do all of those things has declined.
The last time we saw Grandma was in the middle of April. At that time, she was non-verbal and could no longer walk at all. She is a very petite woman, but she had lost more weight than what was probably healthy because she was losing her ability to eat. It was extremely difficult to see her in that state, when just a few months before she was still talking and walking.
After Chris's mom discovered that Grandma had passed in her sleep during the early morning hours of Thursday, June 7th, she called Chris and me to let us know. Chris's Grandma and Grandpa were huge influences in his life. They gave him stability and unconditional love, and losing them both has left a giant hole in our hearts. Grandma was always so loving to us and to our children. It was obvious that we brought her joy, and she was one of the most hospitable people we knew. She always welcomed us into her home, gave thoughtful gifts, and had plenty of hugs to go around. Although she was non-verbal the last time we saw her, her face lit up when she saw Chris. She tried to smile at us, made eye contact, and squeezed our hands tight. She knew we loved her, and we will never doubt the love she had for us.
Grandma's obituary
I'm not sure there is ever a good time for a death to occur, but we lost Grandma during a particularly busy time of year for us. Her visitation was on Tuesday, June 12th, but we were not able to attend due to our annual VBS at church where Chris is the director and I am a teacher. Thankfully, the funeral was planned for Wednesday, June 13th during the day.
Our kids loved Grandma so much. They all understood that she was very ill and have done well with her death.
Brianna, Brecklyn, Brenson, and Brooke at Grandma's funeral
Some people think it's strange that I take pictures at funerals, but pictures help me remember moments. And, even at a funeral, there are details and moments that I want to remember. Grandma's funeral was preached by a long-time family friend named Jess Dinsmore. He knew Grandma and Grandpa for over 30 years, and I appreciate the personal perspective that he brought to her service.
Just like at Grandpa's funeral, Grandma had requested that Chris's dad play his guitar and sing "I'd Rather Have Jesus" at her service. Mark isn't one to show much emotion, but his voice actually cracked a little when talking about his mom just before he began to play.
He also told me later that after playing that song at both of his parents' funerals, he'll probably never play it again.
There was a good turn-out at Grandma's funeral, including Russ, Lisa, and Chloe Jo who came to support us. After the service, the family and a few close family friends went to the cemetery for the interment.
Grandma and Grandpa had both chosen their caskets and cemetery plots and had everything prepaid. I truly feel like this was their final kind gesture for the family. Her casket and flower arrangements were beautiful!
Unlike Grandpa's funeral where the weather was stormy, wet, muddy, and windy, the day of Grandma's funeral was sunny and HOT. After the short service at the cemetery, it was nice to go back to the church building for a meal in the air conditioning. Not too long after the meal was over, we had to head home. We had our final day of VBS that evening and didn't want to be racing against the clock.
We were able to enjoy these beautiful flowers from Grandma's service for the next week. Every time I saw them, I thought of all the joy and beauty Grandma brought to our lives.
While saying good-bye to a grandparent is not easy, we will always cherish the memories we have with her. Sometimes, it's difficult for me to think that my kids won't really know or have many memories of their great-grandparents, but that is one of the reasons I continue to write in this space. I want them to know the kind of people their great-grandparents were, and in that way, they will live on.
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