Six Week Postpartum Appointment

This past Friday (March 23), I had my six week postpartum appointment with Dr. N. Seriously, has it already been six weeks since Brenson was born? This appointment completely snuck up on me!

Brianna was seriously so excited when we told her we were going to see the "baby doctor". I think she's missed going there! When we were first called back (after waiting a while in the waiting room), Heather (Dr. N's nurse that we always see) let Brianna choose a sucker. She chose blue and was fascinated when she noticed in the mirror that her tongue and lips were blue. She enjoyed that sucker, and we were cracking up watching her with it. As a side note, all of the exam rooms have a full length mirror on the back on the door. One of Brianna's favorite things to do is to stand and look at herself in the mirror. However, Dr. N always comes busting in the room with such enthusiasm that we constantly tell Brianna she had to stand back away from the door so he wouldn't hit her when he came in. During this appointment, she finally remembered to stand back away from the door without us telling her 15 times. 

My blood pressure was 102 over 64 (average for me). Of course, I had to have one last weight check. I had gained a total of 30 pounds with this pregnancy, and as of this appointment I had lost 29 of those pounds. Yay! Interestingly, I weighed exactly the same as what I weighed at my six week postpartum appointment after Brianna. I weighed 2 pounds more on delivery day with Brenson that with Brianna, so although I lost the weight slower, I actually lost more in the first six weeks this time around. I still need to lose a bit to be back to my pre-Brianna pregnancy weight (which is what I want).

I try to make all of my appointments with Dr. N for first thing in the morning because generally that means less of a wait to see him. Unfortunately, that didn't work out this time around. We waited an hour and 15 minutes to see him! Most of this wait time was in the exam room, so we were looking for things to entertain us. Brenson was a bit fussy, so Chris laid him on the exam table. After spitting up (you can totally see where he got the paper wet in the photos), he was as happy as could be. Brenson laid there and laughed while we passed the time taking photos of him.

Such a happy little guy!

Love this face!

Sweet man :-).

He was laughing at Daddy in this photo. I love that he has a dimple in his right cheek.

When Dr. N finally came in, he asked how I am feeling, asked our plans for birth control, and asked if I had any questions. Since I'm feeling great and we pretty much have no plans of ever using birth control again, we didn't have much to talk about. He didn't do any kind of physical exam.

Before he left the room, I asked to get his photo with me and the kiddos. Brianna loves him, so she had no problem letting him hold her. We were laughing in this photo (obviously). Dr. N is always laughing and making us laugh!

Brianna was pretty much refusing to smile, but as soon as Chris put the camera away, she grinned really big. Stinker! Oh well, at least she's looking. Before Dr. N put her down, he kissed her on the head. I love that he tries to make each appointment special for us even though he does this all the time. We feel very blessed to have such a great doctor!

As he was walking out of the door, Dr. N said, "I'll see you when you're pregnant again!" I hope so :-).

Before I had children, I never understood how people became attached to their doctors. I see a doctor as a professional that I am paying for a service, not as my friend. Even when Brianna was born, I would have been disappointed had Dr. N not delivered her, but not devastated like some people are when their doctor can't deliver them for some reason. However, now I totally understand. I feel like Dr. N knows us and our history and has been there for two of the biggest moments of our lives. I would have been so upset had he not been able to deliver Brenson! I know that for him, we are just one of many many families that he sees, but I love that he makes us feel special every time he sees us. That's why he has SO many patients and everyone loves him so much. I seriously going to miss seeing him every week, haha!

I'm so blessed to be feeling great and pretty much back to normal. Pregnancy can be hard at times, but I love being pregnant (and of course, the result of pregnancy as well). And honestly, I'm ready to do it again :-).

Brenson's Birth Story

I have finally finished writing Brenson's birth story . . . whoo-hoo! It is quite lengthy with lots of photos, but there were many details that I didn't want to forget. If you make it through the whole thing, you deserve a gold star :-)!


After our disappointing appointment on Monday, February 6th, I began Operation: Get This Baby Out! I had been doing a few things - such as walking - but I knew I could step it up a bit. So, I concentrated on walking, rocking, bouncing on my exercise ball, squatting, massaging pressure points, etc even more than I already had been. I even went and got another pedicure (taking one for the team, folks :-). I ate spicy food . . . which I actually eat a lot of on a regular basis . . . so it didn't bother me. I didn't feel much different, but I had about one strong contraction a day, which was more than I was having before.

Dr. N had told us to come in on Thursday, February 9th for another cervical check, a fluid check, and a Non-stress Test. Because of the NST, we expected this appointment to be long, so we asked Chris's mom to come stay with Brianna and off we went. We knew there was a possibility of being sent straight to the hospital, so we packed the car and prepared for that.

We walked in Dr. N's office for our appointment at about 8:45am. We were called back almost immediately. They did not weigh me, but my blood pressure was 100 over 63, so it was MUCH more normal for me than last time. Dr. N came in to do the cervical check first, and I was extremely happy when he announced that Brenson had finally dropped and engaged! I was dialated to between 2 and 3 centimeters, so he looked at me and said, "Let's have a baby!" Whoo-hoo!!! I don't know if all the "tricks" worked, or if it was just time, but I was so relieved to hear that news!

He wanted to schedule an induction for Sunday, February 12th. However, after doing a quick ultrasound and fluid check, he decided that Brenson's fluid was too low to wait that many days. He had his nurses schedule us to check into the hospital on Friday, February 10th at 7:30am. I was 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant at this point, so I was not opposed to going in a few days earlier :-). Also, since we were inducing the next morning, Dr. N decided to forgo the NST.

Chris and I were not expecting such a quick appointment - or a free day - so on the way home we decided we would take Brianna to the zoo. This way, I could spend the day walking (and hopefully progress further), and we would have a fun outing.

That evening, we spent our time doing some last minute cleaning and tying up a few loose ends. My parents arrived at our house at about 8:00pm. I was so keyed up (and SO sore from walking for hours at the zoo) that I had tons of trouble sleeping that night. I think I got maybe 3 hours of sleep . . . not an ideal way to start labor!

The next morning, Friday, February 10th, I got up bright and early, showered, ate a light breakfast and prepared to leave the house. We were leaving at 6:45am, so I didn't think Brianna would be up, but she woke up about 10 minutes before we left. She knew something was going on! I was actually glad that I was able to hug and love on her for a minute before leaving.

Here I am, 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant - right before heading to the hospital:

I also wanted to capture one last family photo before Brenson arrived:

Heading to the hospital, I was surprisingly calm . . . and so was Chris :-). After arriving and getting checked in, we waited about 15 minutes in the waiting room before our nurse for the day escorted us to our Labor and Delivery room (room 8). Our nurse's name was Staci, and I immediately liked her. I had prayed for a good nurse after the experience we had when delivering Brianna, and that prayer was certainly answered. Unfortunately, Staci missed Brenson's actual birth, but I'll get to that soon.

I got settled into the hospital gown and bed, answered the endless questions they ask, and Dr. N popped in for just a few minutes to say hi. He said that he really thought I would go into labor on my own the night before since I had suddenly progressed, so he was surprised when he didn't hear from me. He also said he wanted to wait to break my water until after my IV was in, so he asked if it was okay if Dr. S (the doc I saw during my terrible 39 week appointment where I was checked 4 times) broke my water a bit later (Dr. S would be at the hospital performing a C-section). I was very tempted to say no since my other experience with Dr. S was not positive, but I agreed. I was trying to be a good patient :-).

Dr. N left, and Staci began my IV in my wrist. I had purposely drank several glasses of water that morning in hopes that my veins would be prepared for that IV, but she still had to fish and fish for my vein as it kept rolling. UGH. Getting the IV is seriously one of the worst parts for me! Staci was great about it though, and eventually the IV was in place so I could start getting Pytocin. At about 8:45am, I had my first contraction (not painful, just lots of pressure).

Dr. S arrived to break my water around 9:00am. I had already decided that I was going to forget the "who cares" comment from the first time I met him and give him a fresh start. However, as he was walking in the room, he said, "So, are you one of those green women who doesn't really believe in induction or what is the deal? Why are you overdue?" I replied, "I haven't been induce-able until now." But seriously? What kind of greeting/question is that? What if I am one of those women? He then proceeded to check me and break my water. When he checked me, he said, "I'm still not sure you're induce-able. I would say you are a closed 1 cm, so you have a very long day ahead of you. But, you can't just go on being pregnant forever, right?" I wasn't even sure what to say to this, so I just said nothing. He just really rubs me the wrong way.

He did have a little trouble getting my water broken, but finally I heard a small gush and he left. However, after the initial gush, nothing else happened for the next 10 or so minutes. Staci had me get up and use the bathroom, but still nothing came out. She gave me the option of having her check me (and hopefully irritate things in there enough for the water to start coming out) or calling the doctor to come try and break it again. I went with the first option. Staci checked me, and was surprised to find that I was dialated between a 2 and 3 (exactly what Dr. N had said the day before). This was only 10 to 15 minutes after Dr. S said I was a closed 1, so I think he was just being conservative. Yes, I'm trying to be nice :-). Staci's check worked, and I finally began discharging my waters like I needed to.

All the while, Staci had been upping my Pytocin every 20 minutes, so with my water broken and the Pytocin flowing, I started really feeling the contractions. They started to get painful around 10:00am, and by 10:30am I couldn't talk through them anymore. I told Staci that I wanted to be at a 6 before I got my epidural, so I expected to labor for several hours with no pain meds. I think I did pretty well laboring through the contractions. I concentrated on breathing, relaxing, and taking them one at a time. Chris's mom arrived at the hospital at around 10:30am. I couldn't really visit with her at this point though because I was concentrating on making it through the contractions.

Around 11:00am, I asked Staci for some pain meds. She gave me Stadol which is the same thing I had during labor with Brianna. I soon felt very relaxed and even had trouble talking without slurring my words. It didn't take the pain away, but certainly took the edge off. Of course, my parents arrived with Brianna about 2 minutes after I received the meds. Poor Brianna didn't know what to think of Momma in bed, hooked up to so many wires and beeping machines, and acting drunk. She pretty much wouldn't have anything to do with me :-(.

About an hour later, Staci checked me and I was an "almost" 4. I was disappointed that progress was so slow! The Stadol was wearing off, but I couldn't decide whether to get more Stadol or go ahead and get the Epi (there was a lot of commotion in my room and the Stadol was still clouding my brain). Staci pretty much decided to go ahead and order the Epi, and I'm so glad she did. Getting the Epi was not bad at all. The worst part was that I had a big contraction right in the middle of getting it, so I had to hold very still during the contraction. So hard to do when you are in that kind of pain! Chris held my hands the entire time, and later told me that I squeezed them so hard his fingers turned purple, ha! It wasn't long at all before the contraction pain faded to nothing. My Epi with Brianna did not work correctly, so I had completely numb legs and feet, but could still feel contractions very strongly. I couldn't believe how nice it was this time! I was able to completely relax, and could even still move my legs and feet pretty well. At 12:30pm, Chris went to lunch with Brianna, his mom, and my dad in the hospital cafeteria. My mom stayed with me, and I took a nap! Talk about a completely different labor experience this time around!

I woke up around 1:30pm. I dozed in and out for about 30 minutes, and at 2:00pm Staci checked me again. This time I was at 5 cm. I was really sad about this as I was wanting a baby that afternoon and I thought that meant it wouldn't happen. Staci had to leave for an appointment, but would be back around 3:00pm. Before she left, she said, "Don't have that baby while I'm gone." I just laughed.

I was really missing Brianna, so I asked my mom to please go to the waiting room and send her in with Grampy. While Mom was out, I sent out a text to family/friends telling them that things were going really slow and it would be a while before baby. Brianna came in and we played for a bit. She decided that it was okay to touch and talk to Mommy after all.

At 2:45pm, I buzzed for a nurse because I was feeling tremendous pressure all of the sudden. I was really afraid that my Epi had stopped working like it did with Brianna, and I wanted to get on that problem sooner rather than later. The nurse decided to check me, so I sent my dad and Brianna away. The nurse reported that it was time to push! WHAT?!? Just 45 minutes before I was only a 5! I sent Chris to get my mom, and the nurse went to call the doctor. I was left alone and honestly began to have a bit of anxiety. Things were suddenly moving so fast, and when the nurses wheeled the utensil carts in it was a little much for me. My mom and Chris were both so excited, but I was having trouble breathing and started shaking all over. I just suddenly had all these flashbacks to Brianna's {very painful} birth, and I wasn't mentally prepared for that yet (silly, yes?). It only took me a few minutes to calm down and get myself under control. It was about this time that the nurse said, "Whatever you do, do not bear down. You cannot push until Dr. N gets here." This was so hard. Not pushing when everything in you is wanting to push is extremely difficult. I am very thankful that Mom and Chris were there to help me breathe through those contractions.

It's go time!

Dr. N walked in at about 2:55pm. He sat himself down in a chair, crossed his legs, leaned back and said, "So, are you ready to have a baby or do you want to wait a while?" I said, "I'm 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant, you had better get yourself up!" Which actually, I was only 40 and 4, but whatever :-). He chuckled, jumped up, and said, "Okay, let's push!" I pushed through 3 contractions. On the 4th contraction, Brenson's head came out. I could have birthed him completely during that 4th contraction, but Dr. N said, "Stop, stop, stop pushing!" after his head was out. Oh my that was so So SO hard to stop pushing! BUT, Chris told me later that Brenson's cord was wrapped around his neck twice and Dr. N had to unwind it before I could finish pushing him out. One more big push during the 5th contraction, and Brenson was born! It was 3:09pm.

We were so happy to see him! I love that I enjoyed his birth so much. I talked, smiled, and opened my eyes immediately when he was born. It was soooo much better than Brianna's birth. I even watched Chris cut Brenson's umbilical cord . . . something I completely missed with Brianna.

Our little man came out screaming! Such a wonderful sound :-).

So happy to see and hold our baby boy!

Dr. N had me guess how much Brenson weighed before the nurse put him on the scale. I guessed 9 pounds 4 ounces. He weighed 9 pounds 2 ounces, so I was close!

Dr. N holding Brenson:

Let me take a minute to brag about my doctor. After fixing me up, he asked if big sister was in the waiting room. We told him that she was, and he said, "I'm going to go get her. My favorite part is watching the siblings meet the new baby." He then left the room, got Brianna, and carried her back in the room to see us and meet Brenson! I thought that was a pretty special thing for a doctor to do.

Big sister seeing baby brother for the first time:

This is not the best photo, but it's our first as a family of four!

Brianna really wasn't sure what to think of everything. She was very interested in looking at brother, but she didn't want to touch him. I think this photo is so cute of her staring at him.

I'm incredibly thankful that my Mom was able to be there with me during Brenson's birth. She helps me stay calm better than anyone else!

Grampy meeting his namesake for the first time (Charles is my dad's name):

Meme meeting her fourth grandchild (notice Brenson is still crying/screaming in all these photos!):

After Brianna stared at Brenson for a bit, she was content to go play with Grampy. Forget the new baby, haha!

All of our company left fairly quickly after Brenson was born. Mom took Brianna back to our house for the night, Dad went home, and Meme went to meet Papa for dinner. It was nice to have some down time, eat dinner, and relax for a bit.

The hospital was extremely busy with new babies, so we had to wait about 3 hours to be moved to a postpartum room. One nurse told us there were 42 new babies in the maternity ward that evening! Brenson came out rooting and ready to eat, but the nurse who was in there during his delivery said to wait until he was cleaned up to feed him. However, he still hadn't been cleaned up at about 4:00pm, so Staci said to go ahead and let him nurse. He nursed like a champ from the word go . . . like he had been doing it for weeks! After he finished nursing, a nurse came and took him to the nursery to get cleaned up. This was at about 4:45pm, and she said they would have him back within an hour.

At about 6:00pm, Brenson was still not back and we were moved to a postpartum room. I hated that we were moved without him. I don't know why, but it really bothered me! When I said something to the nurses who moved us, they told Chris to call the nursery and ask them to bring him to us. He did, but after 30 more minutes we still had not seen him. At this point, this Momma was getting frustrated! I wanted my baby back! Chris's parents came by around 6:45pm, so Chris went to the nursery to get Brenson. He didn't return for another half hour, BUT this time he had Brenson with him. The nursery had him for 2 1/2 hours!

We let Chris's dad meet him and hold him briefly, but then it was time for him to eat again.

My college besties arrived to meet Brenson around 8:00pm. Of course, we were trying to visit while a constant flow of nurses and techs came in and out of my room to clean me, poke me, check me, ask me questions, etc. It was a bit chaotic in spots!

Kendall brought these super-cute cookies with Brenson's name:

My friend, Christie, also came to meet him (and brought us food, which I was so thankful for! I had worked up an appetite!)

Everyone left a bit before 10:00pm, and we were so sleepy! Being born is hard work!

Of course, getting rest in a hospital is a joke, and there was very little rest to be had that night with all the interruptions. I was also in quite a lot of pain during the first night. With Brianna, the birth was hard, but the healing process was not. I never took narcotics with her (just Ibuprofen), and I was up and moving pretty quickly. However, this time I was in so much pain that I asked for stronger drugs as the Ibuprofen just wasn't cutting it. I was pretty drowsy/drugged up that first night, which I hate, but I had to have something. We did send Brenson to the nursery for about 2 1/2 hours so that we could get some rest.

The next morning (Saturday), our friends Ross and Tia stopped by to see us. They are expecting a baby in May.

Also, my friend, Joy Lin, came by to meet Brenson. I love that we had so many visitors!

And that afternoon, Chris's parents and sister and family came by. Mom had also brought Brianna back up to spend some time with us, and we were so thankful! Chris and I both had missed her so much!

All the grandchildren on Chris's side of the family:

This Momma was so happy to have both of her babies at the hospital! Unfortunately, Brianna was acting out quite a bit (not listening and just generally acting naughty), but she was very sweet with Brenson.

I did take a shower (finally) on Saturday afternoon. I was going to do it Saturday morning, but the nurses told me I had to wait until after Dr. N and our pediatrician came by so I didn't miss them. Well, Dr. N didn't make it by until about 1:00pm, so I was ready for that shower by the time he and our company left!

I'm not sure Miss Brianna could have been more excited about baby brother!

Mom took Brianna home about 5:00pm, and Chris and I ordered dinner from the hospital. After a {very} few bites, we decided that Chris would just go get us something edible. However, all three of us ended up falling asleep before he made it out the door! He did go pick up Pei Wei after we woke up (around 7:30pm!). It was super yummy . . . hit the spot!

We spent a lot of time just staring at this little guy:

Daddy and son got some bonding time Saturday evening. It was just as nice to not have visitors that evening as it was to have them at the other times.

Saturday night we had a GREAT night! Brenson slept so well (and that trend has continued so far...), and we had far fewer interruptions. We woke up feeling very refreshed on Sunday morning!

Sunday morning, however, was a bit rough on everyone. The nursery took Brenson to be circumsized around 9:00am, and we expected to be discharged from the hospital by 11:00am. For some reason, the circumcision didn't go very smoothly and Brenson ended up bleeding for about 30 minutes afterwards. He was doing okay when the nursery brought him back to us, but when a nurse came to go through our discharge paperwork with us, she took him back to the nursery due to additional bleeding. They kept him for another 30 minutes, then gave us a few special care instructions for him. I felt so bad for our little guy :-(.

Before beginning the check-out process, we had a little photo shoot with Brenson. He looked so handsome in his going home outfit!

Ready to walk out the door (about 12:30pm):

I couldn't get over how big and grown up he looked already! Several of the sleepers I took to the hospital were already too small. I guess that's what happens when you weigh 9 pounds and are 23 inches long!

Brenson didn't make a peep on the way to the car or on the drive home . . . such a good baby!

Here is Daddy carrying him in the house for the first time:

Brianna was SO excited to see us when we got home and was acting kind of wild. It felt really chaotic for the first few hours, but things soon calmed down. He fits so perfectly into our family. We thank God every day for the blessing that he is to us!

Big Sister Brianna . . .

. . . is so happy to announce that Momma and Dada headed to the hospital today!

It's BABY TIME! Hooray!

Pregnancy Update: 40 weeks!

Okay folks, I'm 40 weeks pregnant today! That means Brenson should be preparing to make his debut any day now!

Here's how I'm looking these days (this was actually yesterday before church):

I have no comparison belly pic this week because at this point with Brianna, she was almost a week old :-).

I'm really taking things one day at a time these days. Some days this past week were harder than others, mainly due to lack of sleep. I just can't get comfortable! I generally sleep well for about 3 hours, then my hips and back start hurting due to increased pressure and I toss and turn for several hours then just get up. If I'm really tired that day, I move a lot slower than normal. Brianna will say, "C'mon Momma! Let's go!" Haha . . . I usually tell her that Momma is doing the best she can (this is mainly when I'm trying to get up from off the floor or out of the chair to chase her where ever she is going).

Typically, our appointments with Dr. N have been first-thing Monday mornings. Today, however, it was at 11:30am because Dr. N had a scheduled C-section, and after what happened last week I wanted to wait for him. When I checked in at about 11:25, Tara told me that he was gone on a delivery and they weren't sure when he'd be back. I told her I would just wait on him, and we didn't end up seeing him until about 12:40pm! I always have conflicted feelings about waiting so long for him. I love that he drops everything to go deliver his patients (because I want him to do that for me!), but the wait can get a little tedious at times. I was happy we waited, though, because I was really able to talk to him and ask questions and get the information I wanted.

My blood pressure was 130 over 80. The nurse wasn't concerned with this number, but this is quite a bit higher than mine normally runs. Of course, she was asking me how last week's appointment went while taking it (because she was gone last week), so that may have had something to do with it :-). I didn't gain any weight (lost just a few ounces, actually), so my overall weight gain is still 30 pounds. I was happy about that!

When Dr. N came in, he also asked me about last week's appointment, and I told him straight up (albeit, nicely) that it wasn't a good experience. He apologized for what happened, and I could tell he wasn't thrilled with how I was treated. He did an ultrasound of Brenson - and after discovering that his head is still floating - said he was going to check me but to be prepared for no progress again. Sure enough, my cervix is still very high and very closed. Brenson still looks healthy, was moving, breathing, and had a strong heartbeat, but his fluid was a little low. Dr. N was not alarmed, but said we will need to monitor it pretty closely.

After checking me, Dr. N told me to get dressed and he would come back in so we could talk. When he came back into the room, he basically said that I'm not induce-able yet and that we just need to keep waiting. NOT what I wanted to hear! However, I think he's a good doctor and I trust him. He said that if we try to induce before Brenson's head is engaged, there are too many ways for things to not progress properly and it would likely result in a C-section. He didn't think we were ready to "cut him out" yet, and neither do I.

HOWEVER, Dr. N did bring up concerns that if I get too far along or if Brenson gets too big without any progress or engagement happening, we might have to think seriously about a C-section. We have about a week or so before that needs to be a serious consideration though (provided that fluid levels remain okay), especially since this is baby #2 and things can progress quickly.

At this point, I asked how big Dr. N thought Brenson might be, and he said, "Well, let's just check." He had me lay back down on the table, and he did another ultrasound! He warned me that weight estimates are very hard to get accurate at this point, but he guesses that Brenson is about 9 pounds. YIKES! He certainly feels bigger than Brianna ever did, so I personally feel like this is pretty accurate. Plus, two weeks ago his weight estimate was about 8 pounds so that is right on track with a 1/2 pound a week weight gain (which is what "the books" say is average for an infant at this gestational age).

Right now, we have another appointment set for Thursday morning. This is to check Brenson's fluid and do a non-stress test to make sure that he's doing okay. Dr. N will also check my cervix again then. If I am running too low on fluid or Brenson is in distress, we'll do whatever is necessary to get him out at that time. If my cervix is finally dialating, we'll probably induce. If everything looks the same, we'll wait a few more days. Of course, there is always the possibility that I'll suddenly go into labor on my own before then (Tuesday is a full moon!) We are praying that labor happens on its own, but we will see.

Chris and I were both disappointed when leaving Dr. N's office. We're just so ready to meet our little man! I was trying gear myself up mentally for the possibility of a whole week more of pregnancy, so I was very quiet in the car. Brianna kept asking me, "Momma happy?" Sweet baby . . . she could sense that we were let down. However, I'm good now. I just had to take a bit to process everything (this is not how I expected things to go today!).

I know there are lots of things that can be done to bring on labor, and we have been doing all we can! I'm not taking any herbal concoctions or using castor oil, but we are pretty much doing everything else.  I'm walking, rocking, squatting, eating spicy foods, etc. I got a pedicure. We even looked up pressure points that supposedly bring on labor, and Chris has been giving me massages using those. BUT, I'm still hanging in here all big and huge and pregnant . . . trying so very hard to be patient!

On waiting

As you know, our doctor's appointment didn't really go well this past Monday, and I left the office feeling defeated and frustrated. I think had Dr. N been there, the outcome could have been much different. The reason I think this is because Dr. N has been talking to us about setting an induction date since I was about 36 weeks along. I personally think that the choice of whether or not to be induced should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, and the primary reason that Dr. N would like to induce us is for his own convenience. Not really a great reason, if you ask me. However, I think he would have persuaded me to set a date had we seen him on Monday.

I was induced with Brianna at exactly 39 weeks along. As some of you remember, we had some trouble during my pregnancy with her (at one point, she stopped growing for a while). At my 39 week ultrasound, Dr. N found that she was no longer growing, she had a decelerated heart-rate, and that her practice breathing had become sporadic. I had also noticed that her movement had really decreased. For these reasons, Dr. N felt that it was best to get her out. At the time, I was only dialated to {not quite} 1 cm and 70% effaced, so it took a while to get labor going. You can read her birth story here. In her case, I felt like induction was the best thing for her and I don't regret that decision.

This time around, I really do not want to be induced. I know this sounds silly, but I like the idea of going into labor on my own and all the excitement that comes along with that. However, I will admit that I am beginning to grow impatient, and the thought of an induction date is looking more appealing by the day. Even though I haven't even reached my due date yet, I feel like I may never go into labor on my own.

Irrational? Probably.

However, here is how the thoughts in my head are playing out:

My body could never get pregnant without help. In fact, I had to have medicine to make me produce an egg, to make the egg grow, to make my body release the egg, and even to grow the baby in Brianna's case. I never went into labor on my own with her, so what in world makes me think that my body will go into labor on its own this time? I've had to have help with every single step along the way, so why not this one?

Is this just impatience and hormones running a muck? Most likely. I'm just so ready and so uncomfortable right now. I really thought Brenson would be a January baby, so I'm pretty disappointed that he's not here yet. And yes, I absolutely realize that I set myself up for that disappointment and that it's totally my own fault. I did this same exact thing with Brianna when I decided in my head that she would arrive before Valentine's Day (she was due February 24th and born on February 18th). I'm my own enemy!

I am so thankful that I haven't had any problems with preterm labor. I would much, much rather be a little frustrated by making less progress than I want to than to be struggling to keep a baby from being a premie. So, I'm trying to be patient and trying to be content with today, but we are ready to meet you, Brenson! Please come soon :-).

Pregnancy Update: 39 weeks!

Today marks week 39 of pregnancy for me. Here I am this morning:

And, at 39 weeks with Brianna (taken about 24 hours before I went to the hospital to have her . . . about 48 hours before she was born):

I think I'm about the same "big", the babies are just carrying very differently. It's hard to tell because I'm standing pretty differently as well.

So . . . today. Today we had an appointment first thing this morning with Dr. N. When I checked in, the receptionist (whose name is Tara and is so great . . . love her!) told me that Dr. N was gone to perform a C-section and that Megan would see me today. I had never met Megan before, but I've heard good things about her. She is Dr. N's PA. In hindsight, I really wish they would have just rescheduled my appointment :-(.

When we were called back, a nurse I had never met before called us back, got my weight, took my blood pressure, etc. It was just so odd to be 39 weeks along and not recognize anyone. I looked at Chris and said, "Who are these people?" because it was seriously a completely different staff than we normally see. Regardless, my blood pressure was 122 over 68 (that top number keeps creeping up a bit with every appointment) and my weight was up another 2.5 pounds. I can't believe I'm gaining that in a week's time! I still don't have a huge appetite, so I don't even know how that's happening. My total weight gain is now 30 pounds (ugh . . . I really wanted to stay in the 20s), AND I officially surpassed what I weighed when I checked into the hospital to deliver Brianna. During L&D with her - due to a few complications - the nurses pumped like 6 bags of IV fluid in me, so who knows what I actually weighed when I delivered her.

Back to the appointment. I get bottoms-off and wait patiently for Megan to come in. She does a pretty thorough ultrasound and determines that Brenson looks really good. His heart rate was 148 bpm (Dr. N rarely tells us this number, so I was glad she did), he was practice breathing well, and I still have plenty of fluid. All great news! Then comes the fun part . . . the cervical check. For those of you that don't know exactly what this is, it is where the doctor (or PA in this case) physically feels your cervix with their hand to determine if you are dialating or effacing. Yes, that means they put their hand down there, and yes, it's painful. It's not the worst pain I've ever felt, but I certainly don't look forward to it.

The only reason I say all that is so that those of you who have never been through this understand a bit why I was so irritated with what came next. Dr. N's checks are short and sweet. He gets in, gets the job done, and gets out. Megan's initial check took almost a full minute . . . ummm, youch! And it didn't stop there. She wasn't able to get a good check, so she had to do it again. She kept apologizing over and over while I laid on the table with my eyes closed trying to breathe and relax. She just kept pushing and fishing around and it hurt waaaaaay worse than any check I've ever had before! Then, she looks at me and says, "I still couldn't really find your cervix. I'm going to have to try again. So sorry." She proceeds to check me a THIRD time . . . more painfully and longer than the first two times.

Chris was still in the room with Brianna, but he had her turned toward him watching videos on his phone. I was so glad she was oblivious to what was going on because at this point I was getting very frustrated and really having to concentrate to breathe through the pain.

After the third check, Megan apologizes again (and honestly, I felt kind of bad for her, too), and says that she's going to have to go get someone to help her. She leaves me laying on the table (still bottoms-off . . . yay :-) for about 15 minutes and returns with someone. I'm not even sure who it was except that I *think* it was another doctor in the practice. I've never met any of the other OBs in that practice so I'm not even sure. And guess what he wants to do?

Check me. Again.

Okay, deep breath. He checks me (much quicker than Megan's checks, thankfully). After the check, he says, "Well, your cervix is still very high, so you may be dialated to a 1 or 2, but who cares?"

Ummmm, hi. That would be me who cares. Cue Are you kidding me? look.

Then quickly follows that statement with, "Oh, I know you care. My point is just that even if you are dialated, nothing can happen while your cervix is still so high, so I didn't really bother to determine exactly where you might be. You'll just need to talk to Dr. N about it in a week."

And they both left the room.

I had to seriously sit on the bed for a minute and gather my composure. I know part of what I was feeling was probably hormones, but I was beyond annoyed and upset with the situation. It was a pretty hard week physically, and I was so ready for some good news (just that I was making a little progress . . . that's all I wanted). I also had a few questions that I needed answered, and they were both gone before I even had a chance to ask anything. Not to mention that with all those checks I felt like my lady parts were on fire. I definitely left the office feeling a little defeated.

So, like I said, this was a hard week physically. I'm really to the point where it's hard to roll over, get up and down (I have a toddler, so this is a MUST), sit for long, stand for long, etc. Sleep is terrible because my hips ache and I can't get comfortable. I'm still loving chocolate milk, and this week have really craved those little powdered white donuts. So odd. I have sudden bursts of energy where I can be super-productive, and other moments where I feel like a slug. I think I'm right on track!

I was extremely disappointed after the appointment, but I'm better now. I'm just going to keep walking and rocking and praying for sleep and hopefully things will start to progress on their own. I have reached the point where I'm really struggling to be patient, but I can do this! I am a little concerned with how big Brenson is going to get while we're doing all this waiting. At some point, he does have to come out of me, and I would prefer he not be 12 pounds when he does. There are several {little} things that I'm trying not to worry about too much, but that do pop into my thoughts. We're really in the homestretch now, so I'm determined to enjoy these last few days the best I can.