The LBs

What better way to stir things up around here than to update you all on my weight loss endeavors???

And I'm going to be reeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyy brave and post NUMBERS! EEEEEEK!

So let's see, when B was 2 months old and I wrote this post, I still needed to lose those last 10 pregnancy pounds. Which means I weighed in at a hefty 184 lbs. For those of you that don't know, I'm 5'7".

Once I buckled down and got serious, the weight came right off. In fact, I lost the 10 pregnancy pounds plus 6 more. The success made me feel great! I was well on my way to my goal weight of 155 (haven't weighed that since before the Clomid treatments of 2006).

Unfortunately, my last week of work came along, followed by two weeks of travel, and I became pretty out of control with my eating. Actually, it's more what I drink (Dr. Pepper and Caramel Frappes from McDonalds) that get me.

I now weigh 174. Exactly what I weighed when I got pregnant last June.

No, that's not a good thing. Remember, I had already gained 20 lbs from fertility treatments (and let's face it, out-of-control eating) before I became pregnant.

It's time to get serious again.

Past time.

A Baby Story

This is a story,
"Bout a baby named B.
A blessing straight from God,
As you can plainly see.

Momma went to the doctor,
Early one morn,
To check on little B,
Before she was born.

What the doctor found,
On that scary day,
Was that B was not growing.
We needed to pray.

B was so small,
That the doctor was concerned.
We needed to see a specialist,
And hope the tables turned.

What could we do,
But pray day and night?
That our little B would grow,
And be all right.

Though her progress was slow,
B grew and she grew.
She had reached average size,
When she was born and brand new.

She stayed very average,
By her 2 month check-up.
We were out of the woods,
No need to play catch-up!

And now, at 4 months,
The baby that wouldn't grow,
Is in the 75th percentile for height,
A 24 and 3/4 inch show!

As far as her weight,
Pounds 14 and ounces 10,
She's in the 70th percentile,
And "too small" is a has-been!

Forty and a half centimeters,
Is the circumference of her head.
Healthy and perfect,
Is what the doctor said.

Our little B,
So healthy and strong,
Proves to us again,
That God is faithful all along.

The Ugly Truth

I have never really struggled with my body image. In high school and the first several years of college, I was very thin. Then, PCOS flared up and threw my life for a loop and I put on some weight. I was still small, though.

But, I began fertility treatments and that "helped" me put on a little more weight.

And, I continued with more intense treatments and gained more weight.

Then, I became pregnant and gained more weight.

Now that Brianna has been here for two months, I'm still carrying about 10 pounds of pregnancy weight, plus all the other weight I had gained before pregnancy.

While I don't feel bad about myself -- and many of my pre-pregnancy clothes do fit -- the ugly truth is that I'm overweight.

Ugh.

After some thinking, I've decided I need to do something about it. Something more than just hope it will eventually come off on its own. Something more than just get used to how I look now and not worry about it at all. Something more than go up a size in clothing so that I'm a little more comfortable when I sit in my jeans.

So... I started Weight Watchers on Brianna's two month birthday, April 18th. It has been going well, and has really been helping me get my portion sizes under control, while eating a more balanced diet. My goal right now is to get the pregnancy weight off, then I'll go from there.

I get discouraged and overwhelmed very easily when thinking about losing weight, but I really need to do this.

And I can do this.

And now... The Birth Story

After almost two weeks, I'm finally writing down the birth story of our precious little Brianna! It's amazing how busy a little one can keep you! But, here it is (and it's long... there were lots of details I didn't want to forget)...

On Tuesday, February 16th, I had an appointment with Dr. N who basically decided it was time for Brianna to make her appearance into the world. The official reason that he gave was IUGR, although he was diligent in convincing me that it was nothing to panic about yet. I was 38 weeks, 6 days, about 70 percent effaced, and not quite dialated to a 1. Dr. N was convinced that I was in for a pretty long labor, so he had his nurse schedule our induction to begin Wednesday, February 17th at 7:30pm. In his words, he wanted me to labor all night so that he could deliver the baby during the day and not the night. Gotta love him :-).

After hearing the words "baby" and "tomorrow" in the same sentence, I'm pretty sure my mind didn't work properly for the next two hours. I suddenly felt as if I had a million things to do in the next 24 hours. In fact, I didn't write down the time we were scheduled to check into the hospital and Chris and I couldn't agree on what the nurse had said. We had to call the hospital and ask them what time we were supposed to be there! AND, I was WRONG about the appointment time... SOOOO not like me! I was just so excited/anxious/nervous/happy/scared that I was all out of sorts. After eating at our favorite restaurant in town and buying just about everything Wal-mart had to offer, I spent the night tossing and turning and not sleeping due to sheer excitement. The morning of Wednesday, February 17th, Chris and I both went to work. I spent about an hour tying up some loose ends, then spent almost two hours visiting with my co-workers. I met Chris (who had brought home Panera Bread for lunch) back at home at about 12:30pm. We then had the LONGEST afternoon possible at home! Chris was so anxious... and when he's anxious, he's grumpy... so those 6 hours felt like FOREVER. I was doing okay until we got ready to walk out the door. At that point, my heart started pounding and I teared up. So, Chris and I sat down for a minute on the couch, said a big, long prayer, and then were ready to go.

After checking in at the hospital, we had to wait about 20 minutes before being taken to our labor and delivery room. During this time, Chris (who was still antsy and anxious) accidentally sent out an e-mail that he had saved in his draft folder announcing that Brianna had been born! I was incredibly frustrated with him at this point, and thought that I was going to have to dismiss him from the event altogether. *Sigh*. BUT, he finally calmed down and was WONDERFUL during the rest of the labor and delivery. I'm extremely grateful that he was able to be in there with me because there were several times that I'm not sure what I would have done without him. After getting settled into our room, my nurse for the night, Marcie, came in to put my IV in. I have really gotten over my phobia of needles (after 4 cycles of injections, I didn't really have a choice!), but I CAN'T STAND the thought of needles in my hands. The IV is what sent me over the edge 2 years ago when I had surgery on my ovaries, so when Marcie started to put it first in my wrist (didn't work there) and then in my hand, I'm sure she thought I was the worst patient ever when I almost passed out!

Dr. N had decided to induce labor by starting me on a medicine called Cytotec, administered as a very small pill that is placed next to the Cervix. I received my first dose of Cytotec at about 9:00pm. Shortly thereafter, my college girlfriends arrived to help keep me company. We were having such a good time, just laughing and hanging out, that Marcie said she was being teased about having the "Party Room". She said normally they only hear screams and cursing from those rooms :-). The party left around 10:00pm and my parents, sister, and niece stopped by for a minute around 11:15pm. At that point, I was feeling nothing but tired, but anxious for things to get started.

Marcie checked me again at 12:30am, and I had made ZERO progress although I did have a few contractions showing up on the monitor. Dr. N decided to try another dose of Cytotec before moving on to Pitocin. This is where the night started to get interesting.

I had envisioned a somewhat relaxing night, where I could sleep a little and get some rest, but it was not to be. My body decided it didn't really like the Cytotec. At about 1:00am, Brianna's heart rate plummeted for the first of many times. It went from about 140 to 61 in a matter of seconds. I woke up to 3 nurses rushing in my room, rolling me around, trying to get it back up again. This happened about 3 more times in the next 45 minutes. During this, my blood pressure also dropped to 71 over 52. This also concerned my nurses, who decided to pump as much fluid through my IV as possible to raise my blood pressure. This meant that I was using the restroom about every 10 minutes! The whole rotation of nurses rushing in to monitor baby's heartrate, check my blood pressure, and help me to the bathroom lasted for about 3 hours, so I wasn't able to get ANY sleep at all. At 4:30am, Marcie checked me again, and after all that I had still made ZERO progress. ARGH! Dr. N then decided it was time for the Pitocin.

After getting the Pitocin, I could definitely feel the contractions pick up. While I was in pain, it wasn't unbearable, but it was too much to sleep through. I really wanted a little sleep, so I asked Marcie if they could give me something for the pain even though I wasn't ready for my Epidural yet. She put something (I can't remember what it was) in my IV, said it should be fast acting, and that I may feel like I've had a cocktail. WOW, more like a dozen cocktails! It certainly did work fast and made me absolutely ridiculous! I couldn't even sit up in bed or walk to the bathroom! I told Chris that if he were smart, he would video me. Then I said, "No, if you were smart then you wouldn't video me even though this would be funny later. Wait! It's funny now. AHAHAHAHHAHAH". I also remember talking about scrambled eggs a lot. I was feeling great!

I decided that I wanted my Epidural before the other medicine wore off, just to have something to help me get through receiving it. Although the medicine wore off before the Anesthesiologist got there, I did get the Epi at about 7:00am. I actually did better with that than the IV... silly, I know. At first, the Epi worked great. I was completely numb (strangest feeling) from the top of my belly to the bottom of my feet. Dr. N came in a broke my water (YUCK) around 7:30am. He also checked me, and I was 80 percent effaced and dialated to a 2.

By 10:30am, I was completely effaced and dialated to a 4. Chris's mom was there, as were my parents, my sister, and Chloe. I still hadn't gotten any rest, but was happy that progress was finally being made. I also had a new nurse, Fran (the name has been changed to protect the {not so} innocent). She was something else... very rough and absent-minded. Around 10:00am, my Epi tube came unhooked from my back. I paged her, and after waiting probably at least 20 minutes, I paged her again. She came shuffling in my room, and when I handed her the tube, she tossed it back at me and said, "I'll get to that in a minute." When she tossed it back, the tube hit me in the face! Then, she had my legs turned one way in the bed while she was trying to turn my upper body the opposite way. Finally, she decided to walk around to the other side of the bed! She also kept leaving stuff in my room, so she would come in and out and in and out... until I paged her, then she was no where to be found!

Somewhere along the way, my Epidural stopped working properly (maybe when it came unhooked?). I had gotten feeling back in my legs and could move my feet and toes fully. I could also feel a lot of pain with my contractions. Fran kept insisting that I was feeling pressure, not pain, but I was definitely feeling pain! There was a distinct difference between what I was feeling then, and what I had felt about 30 minutes before (when it was just pressure). Fran finally called the Anesthesiologist to check me. He did something (again, not sure what) that helped a lot for a while. Unfortunately, it didn't last long though.

By 1:00pm, I was fully effaced and dialated to a 10. Fran kept telling me how slow my progress would be, so she was impressed that things moved as fast as they did. Of course, she also told me that she thought the baby was really big, and that I have a curved pelvic bone and she sure didn't know how the baby was going to get around that. So encouraging she was! Dr. N wanted me to continue to labor down so I wouldn't have to push for long, so Fran promised to be in every 30 minutes to check on me. While she didn't come that frequently, she did eventually come back around 2:30pm. She said that she would be back soon and we would start pushing.

Around 3:30pm, Fran came in and said that the lady next door was ready to deliver and she would have to go first because she was having her 2nd child and it would just slide right out. I was in SO MUCH pain at this point that I had really lost my sense of humor and was READY to push. I just wasn't expecting to feel each contraction so strongly, but I certainly was. I think it may have been a little easier if I had been mentally prepared for the pain, but I had registered for my epidural back in October, so I just thought I'd had a mostly pain-free labor. At one point, I'm pretty sure I passed out briefly. Chris says I just fell asleep for a minute, but I don't know how that could be. I was actually really glad that we had taken those birthing classes and learned all the breathing techniques because I used them!

FINALLY, at 4:45pm, Fran came in and we began pushing. It felt so good to push! I had been resisting the urge for well over an hour. Of course, Fran was still being crazy, even when I was pushing. She continued to insist that I didn't feel pain, only pressure. At one point, she was standing on my IV and I had to ask her 3 times to move (Chris finally semi-yelled at her and she moved). Then, she was helping support one leg and dropped it several times. Fortunately, I had some control over my legs and was able to somewhat catch it. Also, at one point, my sock was coming off my foot. I could feel it only half-way on and asked Chris to pull it off. Fran said, "Oh wow, I'm surprised you can even feel that." She also told Dr. N that I was a great pusher because I could feel exactly when the contraction was coming on unlike most patients with epidurals. Hmmmm, maybe that's because my epidural isn't working properly, lady!!!

I was so relieved when Dr. N got there around 5:00pm. He was a much better coach than Fran. I was a little freaked out by all the utensils he had (and by all the blood), so I didn't open my eyes at all while I was pushing. Chris was holding my left leg and my mom was standing on my left side by my head and I was so glad they were there. Fran kept talking about eating a Catfish dinner (BLECH), but I was in the ZONE trying very hard to ignore her. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and hadn't slept in even longer than that, but I was pouring every ounce of energy into pushing. After about 25 minutes of pushing, at 5:15pm, Brianna finally arrived and I heard her sweet little cry.

My crazy doctor and Brianna, fresh out of the womb:I was still really freaked out when she came out, so I didn't open my eyes and look at her for at least 3 minutes. Dr. N (who was trying to get me to open my eyes) said, "C'mon Michelle, you've got to look at your handsome little boy!" From that point on, Fran thought the baby was a boy and kept calling her a boy! She even filled out some of the paperwork incorrectly and in the Sunday paper it said, "Chris and Michelle N, Ourtown, Boy". She was seriously SO frustrating!

I did finally open my eyes and look at my little dream-come-true (Chris had already cut her cord by the time I could look). I couldn't believe all the hair she had! She almost immediately started sucking her fingers... something we saw her do in the womb on an ultrasound and something she still does. The nurses gave her a mohawk... Chris was less than impressed *grin*. It is truly amazing how quickly the pain diminished once I was holding my baby. I could suddenly smile again!

Right after she was born, a few people came in to see her. The nurses wanted me to order food from the cafeteria and eat before they cleaned me up and moved us to a post-partum room. Of course, when we tried to order food the first time, Fran had not yet released me in the computer to eat, so we had to wait 20 minutes and try again *rolls eyes*.

Grampy and Brianna:

She was wide awake after being born!

Meme and Brianna:

The very proud daddy, Papa, and Brianna:Aunt Lisa, Cousin Chloe, Momma, and Brianna:
Christie, Callie, Momma, and Brianna:

My mom was with me through the whole delivery, but there are NO photos of her holding Brianna during those first moments. So sad! So, here is a photo of them after we brought her home:
She weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces, and was 21 inches long.We did finally get moved to a room later that night. I seriously felt like I would never move again, but by the next morning, I was up taking a shower and fixing my hair. I was so amazed at how quickly I felt like getting up and moving around.

We did send her to the nursery both nights we were in the hospital. I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything but stare at her when she was in the room, and I NEEDED sleep. She was a great nurser from the start, and ate every 3 to 4 hours in the hospital (that's still her schedule).

We were blessed with lots of visitors in the hospital. Kendall brought these awesome cookies with Brianna's name on them!

Chris has been great with her! He had never changed a diaper before, but he jumped right in there in the hospital and took care of business. He has been incredibly helpful to me!I could just sit and stare at her all day!

On Saturday, February 20th, at about noon, we were released to go home. We didn't actually make it out of the hospital until about 4:00pm (the nursery forgot about us), but we were home by the time she was about 48 hours old.

Ready to go home in my pretty little dress:

I did cry a little when we left the hospital, but nothing too bad. I was just so happy to be bringing her home after all this time! We have been adjusting so well as a little family so far. She is just such a blessing to us... there are truly no words!!

Introducing...

Brianna Elisabeth Jo

Our Dream Come True

Born on February 18th, 2010 at 5:15 PM
Weighing 7lbs 7oz and 21 inches long

Birth story to come...right now I am a little preoccupied *grin*.

The Room

When we bought this house 3 1/2 years ago, I knew that this was the room that I wanted to be the nursery. I never decorated it much or painted it because I was waiting to transform it into a little haven for our first baby.

And time went by.

And more time went by.

And several times I considered just decorating it and painting it as an office, but changed my mind. It did serve as our office/my scraproom, but I never gave up on the baby dream enough to permanently decorate it as anything but a nursery.

When the time finally came for me to make it a nursery, I embraced it full force. I seriously L.O.V.E. how it turned out! It is exactly what I always pictured our little girl's room would be!
We purchased the crib, but this dresser was made by my dad. It is beautiful and just perfect! Right now, it is doubling as a changing table as well.
I always knew that I wanted a white crib for a little girl. I'm so happy with that choice! You can also see her first Cabbage Patch Kid up on the ledge shelf. Her name is Halle.

The room has a nice closet and easy access to the rest of the house. I can't wait to fill the memo board with lots of pictures!

What a blessing to finally have a nursery in our house!

39 Weeks... and it's TIME!!!

I'm 39 weeks today... whoo-hoo!

Besides looking and feeling HUGE, I'm doing okay. My hips have been very sore and I think you could definitely say I waddle rather than walk. I worked Monday and Tuesday this week, then had an appointment with Dr. N late yesterday afternoon.

Baby had been "breathing" really well on the ultrasounds for about the last 3 weeks. Yesterday, however, Dr. N had to really stimulate her to get her to breathe and move. He decided that it is time for her to come out! We are scheduled to check into the hospital tonight at 6:00pm and be induced. I am only dialated to 1 cm (and not quite that) and effaced about 70%, so Dr. N thinks it will probably be a long labor. BUT, we should have a baby by tomorrow! YAY!

There are just so many emotions that I am feeling right now. In a way, this is very surreal. We can't wait to meet our little girl!!! Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

What's a few more days?

Last summer, when I first announced our BIG NEWS that we were expecting, I said that I didn't want my blog to become all about pregnancy and baby. However, it seems that lately that is exactly what has happened.

So, I was thinking about all the non-baby related things that I could blog about today. I thought I could write about the superbowl and how my husband's precious Colts totally dropped the ball. Or about all the winter weather we've had (more snow this past week). Or about how work has been going.

But I don't want to write about those things.

WE'RE HAVING A BABY, and THAT'S what I want to write about!!!

Last week, when I saw Dr. N, he was fairly convinced that we would have a baby before Valentine's Day. Silly me, I wanted to believe he was right, so I did! He has thought since day one that I would deliver at least two weeks early.

I'm 38 weeks today.

When I saw Dr. N yesterday, he said that NOTHING was happening yet. No effacement, no dialation, and no baby for at least another week. *sigh* That is NOT the news I wanted to hear. I know it's still two weeks before my due date, but I had it in my head that she'd be here before Valentine's Day.

Dr. N loves to joke and carry on like he's real funny. He kept making jokes that my cervix was so closed he wasn't even sure I was pregnant. SOOOOOO not funny.

We've waited for her for 6 years, so what's a few more days?

Right?

Right?!?

Someone, please convince me I'm right! Our patience is running out!

Baby Shower Weekend {2}

I'm a little late posting this (this seems to be a developing trend), but I wanted to post photos from a couple baby showers that were thrown for me (and baby and Chris) a couple of weeks ago.

I am so blessed to work with a wonderful group of women that threw a great shower for me!
These ladies are one of major reasons that I love my job so much!

Below is a photo of how generous my co-workers are:

We received so many useful (and fun!) items for baby at this shower!

Later that weekend, my besties from college threw a beautiful baby shower for me. These gals have helped me so much through my whole journey of infertility. They made every detail of the shower special!The cake serving table was gorgeous!

They also set up a food serving table:

I LOVE this diaper cake that Christie bought. The purple flowers are made to attach to a headband for baby! I can't wait to try that out!

The real cake was so cute and matched the invites perfectly! It was super-yummy, too!

Both of baby's grandmas were there to help celebrate...

as well as Aunt Lisa and Cousin Chloe.

Christie had a really big camera that freaked Chloe out. She cried every time she spotted it!

Love my girls SO much! Thank you for being so happy for me and for loving my baby as much as you do already!

There were lots of special people who were able to attend, including my former boss, a former co-worker, and my dear friend, Joy Lin.

Christie and I met our freshman year in college and have been friends every since.

We were in each other's weddings, and two years ago I helped throw a baby shower for her and her baby girl. Thank you, Christie, for making my day so special!!!I had a hard time fitting all of our wonderful gifts into the photo, but I think you can see most everything! Our friends and family have been beyond generous!

Wordless Wednesday

36 weeks and a snow day

It's snowing once again in our little corner of the world. We were snowed/iced in over Christmas for several days, and as much as I enjoyed that (I was super-productive!), I'm not loving it this time so much. Although, I am enjoying the day off work!

I am now 36 weeks pregnant and feeling HUGE! I'm starting to get to the point that it's hard to breathe and roll over and sleep and get up and down and pretty much do a lot of things. BUT, this also means we are closer to meeting our baby girl, and we are SO excited about that!

We took a tour of the hospital the other night during our last birthing class and it made everything feel so close and real. There were twin babies in the nursery that had just been born, and they were just tiny and adorable. It made me want to hold my baby so badly! Dr. N says we probably have a while still because she hasn't dropped yet. That means that I haven't started dialating or effacing yet either. We could see that she has lots of hair on the ultrasound, and it looked curly! I saw a newborn pic of me the other day, and I had to wonder if that's what she'll look like.

Here is a progression of the belly pics over the last 3 months. The first one was taken at 25 weeks, and the last one at 36 weeks.Do you think I've grown??? *grin*