Jordan

How do you even begin a post like this? It's hard, and I've been putting if off. I know if I don't write it, however, I'll regret not having the memories and emotions preserved. So here goes.

I first met Jordan around 2008. I honestly don't remember exactly. She was my friend Tia's work friend, and I just remember thinking how much energy and life the woman brought to the room. She was always chatty and never awkward or shy like me. Seriously, SO MUCH ENERGY all the time. 

We bonded over our mutual friend and being together at gatherings that Tia arranged or hosted. We both blogged and enjoyed following each others' lives in that way, too. I always enjoyed her, and it wasn't long before I started referring to her as "the other woman". I mean, what else do you call your best friend's other best friend?!? 

Chelley, Jordan, and Tia at The Melting Pot to celebrate with Tia before she had Lucy

After Tia lost Lucy, Jordan and I were bonded in a different way. We were both there at the hospital just shortly after Tia received the news that Lucy's heart wasn't beating. We were both at the funeral and the graveside . . . the only non-family there. We cried together on the phone when we talked about how Ross and Tia would have to go home with empty arms from the hospital to a house all set up for a baby. We talked a lot during that season as we were trying to figure out how to navigate loving our friend through the storm.

Jordan was one of the first people to reach out to me when we lost B3 at the beginning of 2013. She, too, had been through miscarriage and knew the heart break that it brought. On the day that her youngest daughter, Evelyn, was born fast and furious, I found out I was pregnant with twins. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2017, I was still reeling from losing Bristol. I just sent her a text message that said, "I don't know what to say. Life is so hard sometimes. I hate this for you, and I love you." 

To say that I stood by her as she fought the ups and downs of cancer for the next four years feels a bit disingenuous. I did do a few things to support her . . . reached out to her, sent gift cards for her family, etc . . . but I really poured my energy into supporting Tia. Tia poured her heart and soul into supporting Jordan and her family, so I poured my heart into making sure Tia had a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and someone to stand with her. Of course, I still saw Jordan at birthday parties and gatherings, and it was always good to be with her. But my main energy went to supporting Tia so she could support Jordan.

At the beginning of September, Tia reached out to Jordan, Jennifer, and myself to plan a girls night out. We were going to eat, get a hotel room, and just be together. We joked in the text stream that none of us even cared where we went to eat, as long as none of us had to beg a child to eat or clean up someone else's mess. Jordan mentioned in the stream that she might be too weak to physically go anywhere, so we ultimately decided to order food in instead. At that time, I knew she wasn't doing well, but I didn't realize just how sickly she was. 

We set our girls night out (or "in" actually) for September 24th. We were all excited for the opportunity to just be together and catch up.

And then Jordan got the news. On September 20th, Tia shared with me that Jordan had been given two to three weeks left to live. I was shocked. Maybe I was just not being as aware as I should have been, but it took me by surprise. On Sunday, September 26, I went with Tia after church to visit Jordan. Tia had warned me that Jordan was very yellow due to liver failure, but I was still taken aback by how yellow she really was. He belly was very distended, and she was so weak. She wasn't able to get out of bed at all, and couldn't talk much due to meds she was taking for comfort. It hit me so hard that someone so full of life and energy all the time was as sick and weak as she was.

For the next days, I helped Tia do all the things Tia was doing to help Jordan and her family. She had set up a shopping list for people to send supplies to the family, so I helped her unload and organize all that so the family could use it. I helped her answer messages regarding a meal train and funding campaign for the family. And I listened and grieved with my friend.

On October 1st, Tia called me and simply said, "4:30pm". I knew exactly what she was telling me. We had a short moment together, but I have cried and mourned privately many times since. Jordan's memorial service was last Saturday, and I was so grateful that Angie met me there so I would have someone to walk in and sit with. Tia and her family sat with the family, exactly where they belonged. 

My hearts hurts so much for my friend Tia and for Jordan's three daughters, who are all about the same age as my kiddos. Shock about the whole situation still washes over me at times, and I suppose it will for years to come. Death is so hard, but it's also a part of life. These experiences make me all the more grateful for the hope we have in Christ.