Monday, July 21, 2008

My brain is turning to mush

When I first began my blog, I wanted to use it as a way to keep friends and family updated on the goings-on in my life. I also decided to use it as a way to share my happiness and heartaches, as a sounding board, as a way to record special things that happen in my life, and as a place to vent.

I don't really like to use my blog as a place to vent because, quite frankly, I don't have much to vent or complain about.

Today, however, that will be its purpose.

I work in higher education. Many people that work in this field stumbled into it. Many never set out to work in this field, but ended up there anyway.

Not me.

I chose higher ed because I love it. It suits me. It didn't take me long to figure out that higher ed is where I belong and where I want to be.

The institution I work for, Midwestern Regional University (MRU), sits atop a hill that overlooks Small Town, America. It's beautiful. I love the setting of the campus. Even better than that, though, is the people I work with. I love almost all (*grin*) of my co-workers and clientele. I also love the potential that MRU holds. We have many great changes going on right now, and it is exciting place to be.

But guess what?

I don't love my job.

Some days, like today, I don't even like it.

Now please don't get me wrong. I am grateful for my job, and I am happy to work at MRU because I do love it there. I'm really not interested in leaving MRU. It's not that I don't love where I work, who I work with, or the population I serve. It's that sometimes my actual job duties don't satisfy me. Most days I am bored with my duties. Most of the things I do don't require much brain activity... today I could actually feel my brain deteriorating as I made phone calls for the course waitlist for 6 hours. I'm surprised I can even form complete sentences after today.

Is this really what I earned a Master's degree in Higher Education to do?

I have felt this way for a while (almost since I started at MRU), but I've been *patiently* waiting for my chance to move into an area that I would love. I want a job where I am pushed to think. I want a job that challenges me to stretch my limits. I want a job where I can feel like I am leaving my mark. I want a job where I can use the skills that I worked so hard to acquire. I want a job where I can go home at the end of the day feeling satisfied that I used my talents to contribute to the overall good of the campus community.

My patience is running out.

But, alas, I'll keep pursuing my dream job, and maybe someday I'll get there. I just hope my brain doesn't turn to complete mush in the process.


Angie said...

I was going to leave a comment that said something about hanging in there and that everything happens for a reason but boooo to that attitude right now...In relation to your blog, I totally feel your pain. Situations are sometimes so wrong! But on a lighter note, your blog is so funny the way it was written! Clever!

The Family of N said...

I, for one, am thankful that you actually posted. I understand your heartache and would love to offer you a job if I had a job to offer you.

However, the purpose of this comment is to simply express thanks. I am glad that you decided to come back to the land of blogs. I have missed you. I was beginning to wonder if you had given up on blogs.

While I am sorry for your circumstances, I am thankful that you have posted.

Mercedes said...

I empathize with you. Maybe one day I will get the job I want.

Holley said...

Hmmm....wonder where MSU is???? Remember when we were handing out lunch tickets and wondering why we needed a master's degree to do that???? Gotta love it:) You'll move up in the world of higher ed; be patient.