Happy Birthday to My Blog!

Ten years ago today, I embarked on an adventure having no idea how it would grow, where it would lead, or how much it would mean to me and my family. Ten years ago today, I created a google account so I could join Blogger. Ten years ago today, I launched my blog in this space. 

At first, I thought my blog would just be a fun space to post a few pictures, share a few stories, and connect with a few people. I remember the very first time I posted about my infertility (here), I was literally shaking as I hit the 'Publish' button. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to be this real on the internet? Did I really want to share this journey with strangers, family, and friends? 

My heart would pound each time I received a new comment or published another raw post until - somehow - this became a space I turned to for the exact thing that made me so nervous in the beginning. I came to this space to pour out my emotions and my heart. I came to this space to build deep connections with others traveling the same road I traveled. I came to this space to encourage and maybe inspire those who had been forced on a journey they never wanted or thought they could survive. This space became a safe haven for me to share my joys, my hurts, my delights, my devastations, my gratitude, my grief, my blessings, and all the moments in between. It became a place to share my heart.

While my blog has certainly morphed as my life has changed (I primarily use it now as a place of record keeping for my family), I still come here to share some of my deepest thoughts and most intense experiences, as well. Thank you to all of you who have come along with me on this journey. Thank you for supporting me, loving me, and encouraging me through the years.

Happy tenth birthday to my blog! Of course you were born in February . . . it seems to be my best and most blessed month *grin*!

*If you would like to read the first ever post I published in this space, click here. A few years after I began writing in this space, I transferred a handful of blogs I had published on my MySpace account (who remembers MySpace???)  to Blogger. I went ahead and published them to Blogger on their original post date, but they were not actually part of this space until several years after I launched this site.*

Hello, December

And hello, blog-world! It's been a while, yes?

LIFE has been happening at warp-speed, and I'm just really struggling with where blogging fits into it all. However, it puts joy in my heart to have these precious moments documented, so I'm back at it for now. I hope you're still reading :-).


We've had a lot happen since my last post . . . some big things, some not-so-big things . . . but all events that blend together making this one heavy, grief-filled, joyous year. I know that sounds contradictory, so trust me when I say that it is often how this year has felt. I never knew that I could grieve so deeply but still have joy in the everyday. I never knew that grief and joy were so closely intertwined and fused together. I have learned so many lessons this year.

Lest I leave you hanging too much, I'll briefly share some of the biggies that have taken place since the beginning of October (you can look forward to full posts on most of these things later). On October 15th, The Hubs and I participated in a balloon release honoring our lost babies. It was heavy, and I still have trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that I've had TWO miscarriages this year. Then, just two days later, my Pappy (maternal grandfather) passed away. I think I'll always remember 2013 as a year of grief for me.

However, while that was going on, I was taking my kiddos to the pumpkin patch and roasting pumpkin seeds and carving jack-o-lanterns and making caramel apples and taking a hayride and dressing up for Halloween and just enjoying every moment. And, my friend Tia had a beautiful baby girl at the end of October who we have been spoiling and loving on every chance we get.

November brought with it many days spent outside in God's beautiful creation, visits with old friends, my birthday, and of course Thanksgiving. The blessing have been poured upon us!

I'll leave you for now with a photo taken on Thanksgiving Day. Chris was sick on Thanksgiving and not able to travel with us so that's why he's not in the picture. I'm going to try to do better at blogging this month, so hopefully you'll be hearing from me soon!

Side by side

Ya'll, I'm struggling with the whole blogging thing right now. Does anyone else blog in their head sometimes? I do . . . especially while I'm in the shower or laying in bed NOT sleeping (which is often these days as sleep is not coming easily). I have probably blogged 6 or 8 posts in my head, but for some reason when I come here to type them out they just aren't coming to me.

I think I'm partially a little shy about putting my feelings and my grief "out there". If I'm going to do it, I want to do it right. For me, that means authentically and without sugar-coating. Which also means that I have to dig deep, relive the hard moments, and face those feelings head-on. The thought of all that is a little daunting.

But, I'm going to keep trying. For now though, I'm going to post this fun little comparison of Brianna and Brenson at 11 months old. Seriously, I did not realize how much they favor each other until I put these two photos side-by-side.

What do you think? Do they look alike? Oh, and can you tell we upgraded our camera when Brenson was born :-)?

December Fun: Ornament Making!

After the horrific events of this past Friday, I don't feel like I can just begin blogging without acknowledging the lives that were lost, the lives that were scarred, and the lives that were changed forever. I don't usually ever have the television on during the day, but on Friday I would turn it on to watch the coverage, then have to turn it off because I could only stomach it for a short while. We have been praying for everyone involved. I will be participating in the blogging day of silence in honor of the victims of the Sandy Hook tragedy on Tuesday, December 18th. If you blog, please consider doing the same.

I have mentioned on here a few times that Brianna has been participating in a class on Friday mornings. The class is called Fridays with Miss Shelly and is a one hour preschool class for 2 1/2 and 3 year olds. It's been a great experience. 

One day a few weeks ago, the class was Christmas themed. Our craft for the day was a super cute Christmas ornament that was also easy to make. After class, I thought it would be fun to reproduce the fun craft at home.

We began with 5 color of acrylic craft paint:

And one box of clear glass ornaments (purchased at Hobby Lobby for about $4). We invited Aunt Lisa and Chloe Jo to join us in the ornament making fun. Brianna was excited and being a stinker about taking a photo . . . as usual.

I actually didn't purchase the perfectly clear ornaments, but I got the ones that had a little bit or iridescent shimmer to them.

We began by taking the tops off of the ornaments:

Then, we filled them with a paint color of our choice. We had to use a good bit of paint.

We even mixed two colors in some of the ornaments:

Then, the girls rolled the ornaments around in their hands.

As they rolled, the paint covered the entire inside of the ornament.

This was a bit tedious, so it didn't take long for the girls to burn out.

But they enjoyed it for about 2 ornaments apiece.

Getting ready to make an escape :-):

After the entire inside of the ornament was covered in paint, we tied a ribbon to the top. Aren't the finished ornaments pretty?

This was very simple, but I love the end result! And, since you can buy acrylic paint in pretty much any color, I can make custom colored ornaments to match whatever I want!

Before I close this out, I would like to mention that once we hung the ornaments on the tree, a few of them got a little funky. And by funky, I mean that the paint settled at the bottom of the ornament leaving a clear spot in the ornaments that were close to a light on the tree. I think this happened because of the heat from the light ? To fix this problem, Chris and I re-rolled the ornaments to get paint coverage back, then took the tops off the the ornaments and them air dry for about a day. That fixed the problem right up!

What fun projects are you doing this season?

In My Head

I have lots of random thoughts rumbling around in this 'ole head of mine right now. I need a block of like 8 uninterrupted hours to sit down and BLOG, but that is for sure not going to happen! So, I'm just going to combine several things into this one post :-).

• First things first, thank you to everyone who sent me private messages or commented on my last blog. The encouragement meant so much to me! I know this is just a season, and we need to hang in there with consistency and PRAYER. I really appreciate the feedback, though!

• For the past several months, I have been seeing a Chiropractor. I've had various issues with my back for years, but after having Brenson they were getting worse and worse. Here's a random fact only a handful of people know about me: I have an extra vertebrae in my lower back! Anyway, after going for treatments three times a week for four weeks, then twice a week for the past five weeks, I am feeling TONS better. Better than I have in a very long time! It's been a huge pain to work out going that much (I have taken the kids a few times, but not too many), but I'm so glad I did!

• Two weeks ago, my grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary! Isn't that incredible? We had a big party for them (which will eventually get a post all its own) and had a great time. They are an amazing example of a God-centered marriage, and I don't take for granted what a blessing that is in my life and marriage. 

Here they are with my sweet little Brenson (who is their 25th great-grandchild!):

• Don't they look AMAZING for being very close to 80 years old?!? I've written a bit about this before, but my Pappy suffers with Alzheimer's disease. It's pretty horrible, quite frankly. This Saturday, as I have done in years past, I'm walking in the local Alzheimer's Memory Walk in honor of Pappy. I'll do a whole post about that, too :-).

• This past Monday, my friend Christie gave birth to her little boy. I was able to go to the hospital that evening and meet him. He had a pretty dramatic entrance into the world (very rapid labor resulting in an emergency c-section less than an hour after checking into the hospital!), but he's doing great now.

This is little Riggins:

Oh, I love holding newborn babies! Riggs weighed 7 lbs, 13 oz but felt SO SO small to me! Brenson was never that small (on the outside of me). He was making those precious little newborn squeak sounds, and my uterus was doing flips!

Christie and I have been friends since college. We were bridesmaids in each other's weddings and have held each other's newborns on their first day of life outside the womb. Here is a post of me meeting her now four year old daughter for the first time.

• I finally fell into the Pinterest trap. I resisted for so long, but my crafting self is really enjoying it.  I'm excited about a few Christmas projects I have found, and it's also making me want to redo parts of my house. I've been wanting to change paint color in a few rooms for a while, and Pinterest is just making it worse. Of course, right now I have a FULL plate so house projects are not at the top of the priority list. 

• However, I have found time to do some crafting for a baby shower that I'm helping host for one of my besties who is expecting twin baby girls. She is doing a shabby chic/vintage nursery, so the shower decor is following along that same line. I would love to post photos of a lot of the projects I have done for the shower, but she sometimes reads my blog (Hi, Kendall!) and I don't want to give it all away. 

Below are a few of the fabric flowers that I have made to use as embellishments on a few items. So fun, right?

• Aside from the anniversary party throwing, Alzheimer's walking, hospital visiting, baby shower crafting, and being a full-time Mom (my BUSIEST job :-), I am also trying to finish a scrapbook for Brenson (photos to come soon . . . hopefully), catch up on my blog (haha . . . yeah), and decorate my classroom at church for my new class that I'll be teaching beginning September 2nd. Deep breaths and baby steps, right? :-)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Look at what I can do!

I have some serious blogging to catch up on (including how I came out on my 2010 goals, my goals for 2011, a recent trip, and B's 11 month update VERY soon *sigh*), but in the meantime, here is a fun video for your enjoyment. I realize videos don't seem to be very popular around here, but I am so excited about B's new skill!

I'll be back soon with more blogging. Enjoy!

Stale

I feel like my blog has been a little... well... stale lately.

I've actually felt this way for a while, which I think is the reason that I haven't been blogging very much in recent weeks.

Quitting altogether has been a recurring thought, but I keep coming back anyway. I'm not sure why...

It's like my blog has been on life-support. Just barely limping along, and I don't like it!

It's time for some life to be put back in to this ole' blog! I have so many ideas for blogs (mostly random thoughts) in my head right now. I'd better go write them down before I lose them *grin*.

So stay-tuned blogworld! There's a lot coming your way!

Whew... I know you are relieved *grin*.

Please help me!!!

Okay folks, here's the deal: We had professional photos of Brianna taken when she was 3 months old. Now, I need help choosing what photos to order. Apparently, this is really hard for me... there are several that I really like. Soooo, since you, blogworld, helped me when I needed a name for my baby, I thought I'd call on you again *grin*.

Here are the photos:

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

Problem one is that I have a frame that holds 3 horizontal photos, and I need to know which 3 I should put in it. I would like the 3 in the frame to look similar... like H, I, and J or A, B, and C. Or, I thought I could combine G, H, and J. What do you think?

Problem two is that I want to enlarge one photo for my living room. I really love A, F, G, and J, but which one should I choose???

Problem three: Which photo should I get for friends/family? For grandparents I'll probably get a 5x7s, for other family 4x6s, and friends will get wallets. Which one (or two) photos should I get for that purpose?

PLEASE HELP ME by leaving your opinion in the comments. You are welcome to leave an anonymous comment if you want... I don't care I just need opinions! If you have never commented before, just click comments, type your vote in the comment box, click anonymous, then publish.

Thanks for helping a girl out!

My Space Blogs

Several years ago, before I began this blog, I would blog some on My Space. Recently, I shut down my My Space account, but I wanted to be sure and keep those early blogs. Those blogs were almost exclusively about infertility, as I was just beginning to talk about my journey openly with others.

Anyway, so before I shut down my account, I saved those blogs. I have now published them on this site (at the very beginning, in chronological order) so I would have them. They are labeled My Space Blogs if you are interested in reading them... which I know you probably aren't, but I wanted to put this out there just in case.

Also, I've recently gotten a few new followers on this blog. WELCOME!!! Thank you for reading about my journey. It has been exciting, therapeutic, and wonderful to share it with you!

Creeper Commenter

Does anyone read comments on other peoples' blogs? I do, sometimes. If you have recently read my latest blog comments, you may have noticed that there was a slightly creepy comment left in Espanol. Well, I actually don't know if it's creepy or not, but I felt a little creeped out that I couldn't read it (can anyone translate it for me?).



I was talking to my dear husband about it last night, and he said, "That's what you get when you put your life on the internet." Okay... good point. But that doesn't mean I have to like it!



I don't mind at all that "strangers" follow my blog. I follow several blogs of people I don't know in real life. And I certainly don't mind when people I don't know comment on my blog. In fact, I like it because then I know who is reading my blog (so c'mon you lurkers, de-lurk!). Three or four times I have even ran into people in real life that follow my blog (and whom I had never previously met). That didn't bother me, either. I mean, obviously I am a pretty open person and choose to share my life on the World Wide Web. I've blogged before about what I feel are benefits of blog-world. Read about it here.



However, comment number 3 on Beautiful Colorado creeped me out. I thought about deleting it, but I wanted you all to be able to see it first. It's probably just SPAM, but seriously, keep your SPAM away from my blog and my life. This is a "safe" place for me... not somewhere for you to put your junk.

You're Invited!

I want to know who *you* are, so I put a new application on my blog to help me. Check out the {Follow Me} link on my sidebar and join in. It's okay if I don't know you in real life... I just want to see who's reading. So c'mon out of the woodwork blogger friends!

Cat on the Run

My friend and co-worker, Catrina, has now joined blog-world! You can find her view on life at: http://catontherun.blogspot.com/

Welcome Catrina!!!

Oh, and so I don't have to go and edit the Tag post from last week... I now tag Catrina too!

Add another to the list...

My friend and co-worker is now a blogger!!! Whoo-hoo! I've been trying to convince her for months to create a blog because she is hilarious and always has a good story. I may have even been borderline nagging... and now she finally has!!! Welcome to blog-world Joy Lin!

This is the part where I generally put a picture of me and the person I am welcoming, but I don't have a pic of Joy Lin and me. I'll work on that :-)!

http://www.cascadeofdelight.blogspot.com/

And the ball keeps rolling!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED!!! My friend Tia has now joined the ranks in bloggerland as well!!! Hooray! Pretty soon, I won't have to talk to any of my friends in person, haha!

Welcome, Tia! http://petrogirl.blogspot.com/

Tia, Holley, and Me... Does anyone else notice that I have a crazy amount of pictures with Holley?!? We are picture-takin' fo's. Oh yes I did, I just wrote that.

Alright, who's next? Jeremy? Shawna? Dare I ask... Chris?

The snowball effect...

Welcome to blogworld my friend Holley! I'm so glad you are now blogging since you moved away from me... I can feel like you are still here :-)! See what you've done Tracy??? This blog thing has a snowball effect, haha!







Check out Holley's blog at http://holleysramblings.blogspot.com/

This just in!

Well, it was "just in" on March 3rd...but that's beside the point. Anyway, get ready, here comes big news...

Blogging is good for your health!

This article on discovery health talks about how blogging can help us to feel less isolated and more connected to our community. Check it out...it's a short read!http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/03/03/blogging-social-health.html

And you know what? I think that's right. I sometimes feel a little isolated and, yes, even lonely (ugh, that looks even uglier in writing than it did in my head) because I feel like everyone around me can wink at their spouse and get pregnant with children they don't even necessarily want (I said necessarily...I know that many of you wanted your children and love them deeply). And then there's me... the defected, barren girl who desperately wants a baby but can't have one. In my head, I know that I'm not alone in this journey, but try telling that to my heart when yet another friend, co-worker, aquaintance, relative, etc announces their pregnancy. Okay...stay with me, I do have a point here. The blog world connects me to other people going through the same struggles as me, and even though I don't actually know these people in real life, I feel less lonely and isolated when I'm reading about their struggles that are similar to mine. Surprisingly, (at least to me anyway) there is a whole virtual community of infertile people out sharing their stories.

My point? Blogging (for me) is a good thing! The end.

Welcome to Blogland, Earl Gearl!

Your first blog is a strong one, Earl Gearl! Keep them coming!

My sis (aka Earl Gearl) and me!

I just had to do it!

Yep, it's true...I just had to do it! I had to create a blog of my own since it seems that I've recently become a bit obsessed with reading other peoples' blogs. I mean, seriously, do you expect me to actually talk to people? Make friends in person? I think not! Who needs that when you have a BLOG???

I had been thinking about creating a blog for a while now, but it was my friend Tracy who really pushed me over the edge (thanks Tracy!!!). She has this super-cute blog that she was showing me all around, and that's all it took...I've now officially joined the ranks in bloggerland!!! So c'mon friends, join me in my journey and maybe, just maybe, you'll get inspired too :-)!!!